Facebook’s Sweatshop Censors really don’t know what the fuck they’re doing. They threw me in FB jail for this meme. Eventually, less stupid heads prevailed and they changed their mind.

The interesting thing about Zuckerberg’s Monster is how they throw you in Facebook Jail, then they come back and reverse their decision, then they apologize to you and say “We’re sorry we got this wrong”, then they keep that shit on your permanent record. The next time they don’t like some random shit you post they’re quick to say “Multiple posts from the last year didn’t follow our standards.”

Even though they admitted they made a mistake and “reversed” their decision. They only do a partial reversal–they allow the post to stay up, but they keep it on your record in case they don’t like something else you post in the future.

I would say shitty Facebook programmers need to quit and get new jobs, but I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t be able to get a job anywhere else.

I set up a new account after the last one was unceremoniously executed by Facebook’s sweatshop censors, shitty-algorithm-writing programmers, and incompetent management. Posted this in response to a flood of anti-vaxx COVID-denier misinformation-filled rants about how vaccines are killing people and making spoons stick to their nasty-ass unwashed bodies.

Naturally, Zuckerberg took the anti-vaxxers’ side and slapped me with a 30 day restriction almost immediately. The anti-vaxxers’ bullshit tirades are still up, by the way.

A few days later, FB “removed” my restriction. (We’ll talk another time about why “removed” is in scare quotes).

They didn’t bother telling me what I did “wrong” in their view, which is in direct defiance to their “Oversight Board” (see the notes on Case Decision 2020-005-FB-UA at https://oversightboard.com/decision/FB-2RDRCAVQ/ where they specifically say that Facebook must tell you what rules you violated). Of course, the “Oversight Board” is another joke for another day, and completely meaningless to this (or any other) conversation.

They do allow you to request a “Review”, which I did. A review of what? I can’t say for sure, because Facebook doesn’t bother telling you anything about all that. It’s all so “mysterious”.

But they do provide a handy-dandy link to “Community Standards” here. So I decided to follow the breadcrumbs, and clicked their link. The “Community Standard” that popped up was titled “Regulated Goods”:

This particular “Community Standard” covers selling guns, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, endangered species, livestock, human blood, weight-loss products, and historical artifacts. After a quick check, I suddenly realized I have never tried to sell guns, drugs, alcohol, tobacco, endangered species, livestock, human blood, weight-loss products, or historical artifacts on Facebook. So either they have a really strange definition of “selling endangered species” that includes “not selling any species ever”, or their programmers and sweatshop censors are so much shittier than I already knew they were.

The Chief Idiot of the Facebook Supreme Court partially reversed his stupid decision to permanently delete my account/ban me for life. So, just to do a quick recap, I was banned for 3 days, 7 days, 10 days, 7 days, 10 days, 7 days, 30 days, 7 days, lifetime, and now 30 days again. All for the same post.

Here I’m going to explore the history of Facebook stupidity with regard to this case.

The first stupid decision happened when some unskilled Facebook employee tagged a meme I posted on Jan 6 as a violation two days later, on Jan 8:

Here’s the meme, by the way:

Search “chewbacca bikini” and look at the pictures on Facebook. There are literally thousands of copies of this exact same post all over the fucking place.

On Jan 10 they refused to review or change their stupid decision. They blamed COVID for their stupidity in the full version of their response, but here is the version currently sitting in my support inbox:

Then on Jan 10 this decision triggered a cascading loop effect where their idiotic algorithm tagged and re-tagged the same post 16 times in a row:

As you can see clearly, Facebook’s low-skilled employees “reviewed” the same content and decided that it violated “Community Standards” 10 times, but didn’t violate “Community Standards” 6 times. BTW, I didn’t post 16 instances of this content. They decided to just keep violating the same post over and over again, back-to-back.

Facebook Pervs Out

On Feb 2 we took a detour when some low-skilled Facebook employee decided to Groundhog Day me with a violation of a comment:

Here’s the full comment in context:

I can just imagine some Idiotic Facebook Employee masturbating over his keyboard to this photo and then declaring it a violation of “Community Standards” based on their own perversion. Some other Facebook Employee with his dick still in his pants reversed that decision a couple of hours later.

Why this dumbass chose my comment to jerk off to and ban, instead of the hundreds of other posts containing this same image (and even worse variations that actually included naked people literally fucking each other), is a question the Facebook Philosophers will ponder.

Facebook Can’t Stop Jerking It

We were good for about 9 days, when suddenly some Low-Skilled Facebook Perv Employee decided he couldn’t stop jacking it to Facebook’s Favorite Attorney, the Official Lawyer of Nazis and White Supremacists Everywhere, Rudy Giuliani:

This meme was a screen grab from the Borat movie, showing Rudy Giuliani adjusting his microphone while lying on a bed during an interview, with a hilarious caption:

There are hundreds of copies of this same screen grab all over Facebook. And hundreds of memes based on it, but this is the one that sexually excited the Puritan Facebook Staff and had them whacking their tallies so hard they had to ban it. They refused to reverse this decision, because they’re apparently very perverted and not too bright over their in their Facebook Censorship Sweatshops.

Two Weeks Of Peace

For two weeks there was peace across the land, when out of nowhere some Dumb-Ass Facebook Algorithm written by one of their patented Low-Skilled Programmers violated my comment on Feb 26. The comment is shown below in its full context:

The violated this one within literally 1 minute of the comment being posted:

As you can see, they reversed their decision on this one about an hour later and put the comment back up on Facebook. But Facebook had fired their warning shot. They DO NOT like it when you disparage their Golden Idol Worship.

Facebook Breaks The Twelve Day Truce

For the next 12 days, Facebook left me the Fuck Alone to go about my business. But suddenly, on Mar 10 their Low-Skilled Programmers apparently changed their algorithm suddenly to re-violate the original meme post from Jan 8th:

They reviewed and overturned all of the Mar 10 violations of this post. Even sent me a bunch of nice apologies, which I will be posting to Facebook at some point (“We’re sorry. Sometimes we get it wrong.” blah blah blah bullshit).

Well, at least they overturned them until three days later. On Mar 13 they violated the same meme again:

They did a double-violation for the same meme and decided one was OK, but the other was a violation of “Community Standards.” The level of stupidity baked into their algorithms and censorship sweatshops is matched only by the incompetence of their management.

On my first day of the new Facebook Prison sentence, they violated the same meme again. They ultimately overturned this one:

Two days later, on Mar 16 while I was getting my Facebook Prison Cell organized, they violated the same meme again, 5 times:

This time they said this meme didn’t follow “Community Standards” three times and did follow “Community Standards” twice.

Then, while I was in Facebook Prison, they decided to violate the post AGAIN on Mar 17:

As an aside, when you click on the “View” button next to the six Mar 16-17 violations, every one of them references decisions reversing the Mar 11-13 violations. We can chalk that up to Facebook’s Shit Programming and God-Awful Programmers Who Don’t Know What The Fuck They’re Doing. Because apparently, Linked Lists Are Fucking Hard for Computer Science 101 Drop-Outs.

Lifetime Ban

So all of this added up to a threat to delete my fucking Facebook account. Basically, a lifetime ban:

All because Facebook Programmers are shit, Facebook’s Sweatshop Reviewers are unskilled, and Facebook Management doesn’t know how to manage. They should all quit their fucking jobs and go Learn How To Code. Especially their Shit Programmers.

Epilogue

Now that I have my account back, I’m considering waiting out their 30-day ban and then deleting my account on my own terms.

I waited a really long time before joining Facebook, and the only real reason I joined was to advertise some items I was selling online at the time. I ran the numbers, and their advertising did not increase my sales as much as I had hoped. I got two to four times better performance from other advertising tactics. I was willing to wait it out to try some new advertising tactics, but paying for advertising on their platform was basically a fucking money pit. Since advertising was my only reason for joining Facebook, if I can’t advertise for 90 days, then why the fuck do I need all this aggravation from unskilled programmers, inconsistent sweatshop censors, and incompetent management and support staff?

At this point I really don’t have any motivation to be on their shit platform, allowing them to sell my personal information to Oxford Analytica and their other shit partners doing God-Knows-What with it. At this point it seems more a matter of principle — I intend to leave Facebook on my own fucking terms. Because fuck them.

And though I have to admit I have made a couple of impulse purchases from Facebook advertisers, it’s just as easy to find what I’m looking for on Google. Facebook Delenda Est!

Pretty sure they’re not going to change their minds at this point. After all, if they let me back on there I’m going to post every fucking “We’re sorry we got this wrong” message they ever sent me on their shitty platform. And I have literally hundreds of them at this point.

I keep trying to move on to the next batch of Facebook stupidity, but every time I get ready to write about the next 20 things they have banned me for, they come back and ban me again for the Most Dangerous Post on Facebook, from 2 months ago. They just can’t get the fuck over this post. I put it up again right here because it doesn’t appear in their messages anymore (see below).

So this morning they decided to ban me for 30 days for this post from 2 months ago:

Of course they also claim they put the post “back on Facebook”, after “reviewing it”. But they didn’t bother:

And this one from 2 days ago came back from “review” this morning also.

They didn’t even bother with their fake-ass apology this time. Just straight up lies and a hearty “FUCK YOU”.

Working at Facebook must be the easiest job for low-skilled workers in the entire world.

Seriously, if you are one of those idiots who believes immigrants are rapists and murderers, and you think they are coming for your job, you must be a Facebook employee.

Facebook delenda est!

Of course, they came back and said “we’re sorry we got it wrong” almost as many times.

I’m starting to think they didn’t mean it when they said “we’re sorry” though:

I’ve received every possible response from Facebook Community Standards Police, including dozens of confirmations that they got it wrong, and they’re sooooo sorry:

Also got a few confirmations that they confirmed the same post actually does NOT follow community standards:

I even got a MEGA-FUCK-YOU message from Facebook for this same post:

So what is the most dangerous post on Facebook? ::Drum roll::…

Facebook delenda est!

This one was a throwaway comment on some MAGA loon’s stupid post. Of course Facebook hates it when you talk shit to the white supremacist insurrectionists they defend to the end. So this pic is worth 3 days of automatic jail time.

Of course this one is posted by hundreds of people all over Facebook also.

So this one requires a little context. It started with a post where Ted Cruz goes off on “rabid environmentalists” and he starts trying to inject some pop culture into it with some weird-ass movie references. Then come the comments:

Of course Facebook doesn’t like it when you make fun of their terrorist-loving government patrons. The best they could do with this one was hit me with 7 days for violating “community standards” on “nudity or sexual activity.” Because the woman in this photo is completely fucking nekkid and engaging in sexual activity.

Of course there are literally thousands of this same picture all over Facebook. Some even show a butt-nekkid man in the background fucking a butt-nekkid woman over a couch. Of course Facebook doesn’t really give a shit about any of this. They just need to fuck with someone.

Either way, this will get you 10 days hard time.

And I got more receipts than CVS man.